last minute thought. I made sopes. with cactus salad and i forgot to buy beans. but if i have it tomorrow i'll buy some then.

potato salmon cakes

so i made potato salmon cakes. it was good. it would have been better if it had less grease in it. I need to drain it better next time i make it. alo made dill horse radish sauce for it. my mother said it was good. and if i keep that up i can find a husband,

I want to go back to sleep.

ug i went to sleep at midnight. but i still woke up so early. when i got out of bed it was 4 something so when i woke from sleep it was around 330am.

campfire frap with 2 shots!!

raawllll. I am SO Ampt!. I don't drink Coffee so 2 shots was waaay to much for me.

and I still haven't crashed yet. I went from. this feels good, I can stay awake in class. to i'm jittery and i hope no one notices and thinks i'm on a illegal narcotic. to RUUUNNNN LET'S DO SOME PULL UPS!. oh so sad i am so out of shape my muscles can't even handle doing one pull up :(

but i had the energy to put Zy to bed properly. but my mind is still full. so I'm going to write it out. lets see what to write about? ...... well my face was cracked and crusty this morning. i need a cream cleanser. I ordered one .

but in the mean time i need something strong so im using olive oil. man the facials aren't no joke. makes me think i shouldn't get a new one. but i will keep my appointment. cause i really want smooth beautiful skin. i'm putting my faith in this solution. also I did a bit of cleaning today. can't really tell. But atleast i did something. today i felt more motivated to do productive things.

I want to take Zy to story time in the morning. hope that works out. I have a strange felling of sleepy-wired right now. like if i went to bed I think i would fall asleep. But i don't like going to sleep early. then i might wake in the before the sun comes up. so i try to sleep after 12am. I don't really want to do what i usually do around this time.

well for a small recap on some dramas. "wake love up" wow i am on ep 5 of that. raelly? seem the show hasn't even got to the point yet. I wanted to watch it. cause the male lead is a asshole (love the ones where the lead is a asshole) and he gets amnesia so he's at the female leads mercy. but so far hes stuck on some other female that he grew up with. and ther is a cousin that keeps trying to kiss her while she is asleep. and its happened more then once. so im like chic why do you keep "sleeping" around this guy if you don't want him to steal a kiss? once okay. but after the second time. now your just being coy. and annoying for me to watch. also this actress has a terrible face. she looks like that little prick from projct runway Christian. the one that won, and i was like REALLY! when he won. and now he has a line of shoes at payless.

her face is like his. if she didn't look like him maybe i wouldn't dislike her so much. but she was also unnecessarily snobby to the female lead. their face i like a half face. its like 2/3s the size of a normal humans face. and they both have small features. and she has a long neck. oh had they both had a similar hair style. they look so much alike that could be related or the same person in drag. ramble ramble ramble.

I want to go to the Zoo. but the closest zoo is supposedly a sad place. like the animals are so depressed that they don't come out. oh my meetup group is making plans to see a kpop concert with two kpop groups. i would live to experience this. but unfortunately I don't have the income for that luxury right now. :( but i will try my hardest to make it to the meet up that only cost price of food. and my gas to drive down below. only thing is its on a Sunday. and the car is mine. but annoyingly my mother treats it like its hers. so i will have to put my foot down. I really don't see how it would be difficult for her to get someone to car pool with. i mean this church is in the same town. unlike the other church. so its not like people would have to go out of their way to pick her up. damn it the more i thin about this the more pissed off i am. anytime i want to do something for myself someone in my family says something. I hate being at the mercy of someone else. I'm an Adult!! Its not like i go out all the time. infact the last time i went out for some 'I need to experience adult fun' might have been this summer. and even that i couldn't enjoy cause i had to be designated drive. cause the jackass that was supposed to drive decided that they wanted to get high!. I should be able to go out at the very least once a month so i can keep my sanity in a healthy way. and then I want have to retreat into non reality things like staying in bed. or watching tv. damn it! I NEED TO ENJOY MY LIFE! If I'm lucky I'm going to be in my 40's and i rally don't want to look back like daaang i rally didn't live my life to the fullest. I let other people control me too much. I used to have a fire. I used to. I need to get my umph back. I want to leave this town for good. ramble ramble ramble. don't know if this is enough to clear my head but at least now i want to do something else and i think i'm coming down from the caffeine

manderian

ni hao, I'm learning Chinese. zy watched a few videos.

Chinese f4

I'm wathing "let's watch the meteor shower" and its the China version of hani yori dango

they changed this version up alot. like the male lead doesn't torment the female hardly at all this version. and that like my favorite part. he also doesn't chase after her in this version, he kinda has a 'whatever, you know I'm hot' attitude. he's also form Australia. he has some lines in English and its terrible. he dosen't sound like a native Australian born speaker. he sounds like someone that learn those words for the script. Im not too mad. cause its almost like watchin a whole new story. since that changed it up so much. goig to bed. my wrist hurts, not used to typing.

first full makeup and first facial

i got a facial today. I want to start being a dental assistant. so i'm going to the edd office as soon as i can to find out what they can do to help me. also i decided to be pretty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC9ErBi4l30&feature=channel

i need a hobbie. so i guess i wont be renewing my sub to drama fever. and I'm going to try to learn a Asian language. order of wanting to learn 1. Korean 2. Chinese 3. Japanese

I guess my hobbie could be teaching myself a new language.

I been better at getting out of bed in when i wake up. I been showering more this week. I really wanted to not shower this morning and just blow off my beauty appointments. but i forced myself to get out of bed and showered.

I used some of my mother's foot scrub on my feet and they look so much better. like i could wear sandles without embaresment. i'm wondering why that IMO mild product did. what a stone failed to do. but whatev i'm going to be happy and maintain the progress.

yesterday i figured that probably the main reason i don't want to do stuff is cause i'm physically tired.

and that could be cause my calorie intake is low and i'm in starvation mode. but at night i'm fine. and bad nutrition.

so starvation bad nutrition and inactivity. i been having my mother make me veg juice.

only exercise i do is kagels. i would walk. but i don't like to leave this house and roam in this bad neighborhood. well this place might not be so bad in the day. but its new people that i don't know.

I really want to move to San fransisco. for now. but not dream location. its my settling place.

sleep talking

Zy sat up while sleeping and in a clear voice ays" Mrs JAckie could you..." i didnt catch the last of it . but i started chuckling at her she noticed me a hid her face. i'm not sure she knows what she did. but i teased her anyway. then picked her up and put her in my bed. she is still sleep. but i'm atleast glad that wasn't a nightmare.

happy feet

i saw happy feet 2. i cried at the end. I love the songs in this one better then the first one. I have a new appreciation for P!nk's voice.

• i don't care if i spelled a word wrong. if you know what i intended to wright then don't nitpick. and if you absolutly need to complain over something so trivial...... then you really need a hobby