and I still haven't crashed yet. I went from. this feels good, I can stay awake in class. to i'm jittery and i hope no one notices and thinks i'm on a illegal narcotic. to RUUUNNNN LET'S DO SOME PULL UPS!. oh so sad i am so out of shape my muscles can't even handle doing one pull up :(
but i had the energy to put Zy to bed properly. but my mind is still full. so I'm going to write it out. lets see what to write about? ...... well my face was cracked and crusty this morning. i need a cream cleanser. I ordered one .
but in the mean time i need something strong so im using olive oil. man the facials aren't no joke. makes me think i shouldn't get a new one. but i will keep my appointment. cause i really want smooth beautiful skin. i'm putting my faith in this solution. also I did a bit of cleaning today. can't really tell. But atleast i did something. today i felt more motivated to do productive things.
I want to take Zy to story time in the morning. hope that works out. I have a strange felling of sleepy-wired right now. like if i went to bed I think i would fall asleep. But i don't like going to sleep early. then i might wake in the before the sun comes up. so i try to sleep after 12am. I don't really want to do what i usually do around this time.
well for a small recap on some dramas. "wake love up" wow i am on ep 5 of that. raelly? seem the show hasn't even got to the point yet. I wanted to watch it. cause the male lead is a asshole (love the ones where the lead is a asshole) and he gets amnesia so he's at the female leads mercy. but so far hes stuck on some other female that he grew up with. and ther is a cousin that keeps trying to kiss her while she is asleep. and its happened more then once. so im like chic why do you keep "sleeping" around this guy if you don't want him to steal a kiss? once okay. but after the second time. now your just being coy. and annoying for me to watch. also this actress has a terrible face. she looks like that little prick from projct runway Christian. the one that won, and i was like REALLY! when he won. and now he has a line of shoes at payless.
her face is like his. if she didn't look like him maybe i wouldn't dislike her so much. but she was also unnecessarily snobby to the female lead. their face i like a half face. its like 2/3s the size of a normal humans face. and they both have small features. and she has a long neck. oh had they both had a similar hair style. they look so much alike that could be related or the same person in drag. ramble ramble ramble.
I want to go to the Zoo. but the closest zoo is supposedly a sad place. like the animals are so depressed that they don't come out. oh my meetup group is making plans to see a kpop concert with two kpop groups. i would live to experience this. but unfortunately I don't have the income for that luxury right now. :( but i will try my hardest to make it to the meet up that only cost price of food. and my gas to drive down below. only thing is its on a Sunday. and the car is mine. but annoyingly my mother treats it like its hers. so i will have to put my foot down. I really don't see how it would be difficult for her to get someone to car pool with. i mean this church is in the same town. unlike the other church. so its not like people would have to go out of their way to pick her up. damn it the more i thin about this the more pissed off i am. anytime i want to do something for myself someone in my family says something. I hate being at the mercy of someone else. I'm an Adult!! Its not like i go out all the time. infact the last time i went out for some 'I need to experience adult fun' might have been this summer. and even that i couldn't enjoy cause i had to be designated drive. cause the jackass that was supposed to drive decided that they wanted to get high!. I should be able to go out at the very least once a month so i can keep my sanity in a healthy way. and then I want have to retreat into non reality things like staying in bed. or watching tv. damn it! I NEED TO ENJOY MY LIFE! If I'm lucky I'm going to be in my 40's and i rally don't want to look back like daaang i rally didn't live my life to the fullest. I let other people control me too much. I used to have a fire. I used to. I need to get my umph back. I want to leave this town for good. ramble ramble ramble. don't know if this is enough to clear my head but at least now i want to do something else and i think i'm coming down from the caffeine
No comments:
Post a Comment