dec 29

okay while i was making Zy breakfast my sister called. and I sometimes avoid picking up cause she never wants to talk to me and when she has me on the phone its always to critize me.

i don't know if my sister has had a easy life. but from my perspective she seems to be able to accomplish all her goals. i have always been proud of her. and i always will. except about her kids. I think her kids are shitbags. and they may improve but with that she really has no business criticizing me. and if the only thing i do is make sure my child grows up better then her kids. that IS what i will do.

When i talked about people that talk to me like its just so damn easy to get up and change. she is the main one. when she talks to me i usually just ya , uh huh. at her. cause if i just stay silent then she get worst with her tangents i learned to cut the critacizum short. but this call today cut a spot worst cause i had just decided some of the first steps i needed to fix my life. and here she is not being satisfied with my efforts. i know on the outside it might look small. but for me this is big. and i need to do baby steps. (i know she doesn't know the efforts i'm makeing) i know my mind better then everyone else. and doing things your way might not be the most productive for me. I love asking advice from people. finding out how they do things. but just because i know what you do does not mean i'm going to make it my gospel. i just enjoy collecting information. (the j on this keyboard is iffy)

Im not going to edit these first few post cause that taking time away from production. i will end up spending more time explaining and less time doing. well off to start fixing myself. i will try to update atleast once a week. i might go back to live journal cause on there i can make post private.